Don’t Die Before You’ve Lived

You know you’re getting old when you start attending more funerals than weddings. Becoming invisible prior to death is something that really shocked me. Why do older people become invisible? It’s not because we disappear, but it’s to do with society’s bias towards valuing youth. Visibility focuses on youthful bodies, newness and being economically useful. Ageism is alive and well and living in every town and country.

I remember the first time I felt invisible; I was out walking with my adult children and grandchildren, there was conversation going on around me, yet no one asked what I thought. I realised that I’d stopped interrupting, stopped pushing to be heard and had started to chose peace over attention. I had a serious word with myself that evening. No matter what age you are, never allow yourself to become invisible. Speak just that bit louder, take people to task who ignore you, and always interrupt to get a word in.

Aging is something that creeps up on you slowly, then, one day, you realise your knees are making unusual noises and you start noting where the toilets are. You evolve from the young rebel who could drink all night and still get up for work at 7am to standing in a room full of strangers at a funeral wondering when exactly everyone started calling you “dear.” And let’s not even talk about the music—it’s like they’re playing songs for us now. Did I ask for this? No. But here we are.

Losing people you love is hard. It feels like your circle is shrinking faster than your patience with TikTok trends. But here’s the thing: the smaller the circle, the more precious it becomes. You laugh a little harder, hug a little tighter, and maybe, just maybe, let people take one too many photos of you, because who knows?

Getting old means collecting stories—good ones, bad ones, and the absurd ones. Like the time I fell asleep at 7 PM but woke up feeling like I’d conquered the world. Or the time I argued with a teenager about the superiority of rotary phones (I stand by it).

Aging isn’t about losing—it’s about cherishing. It’s about being the person who gets to say, “I knew them when…” and keeping the stories alive. Because even if everyone’s “leaving the party,” we’re still here to tell the tales, hold the memories, and pass along the wisdom. Or at least, that’s what I’ll tell myself the next time I forget where I left my keys.

So here’s to the ones we’ve lost—and to us, still stubbornly kicking, laughing, and making the best of it. After all, life’s too short to skip dessert or miss the chance to tell someone you love them…even if you’re pretty sure they’ll haunt you later for eating the last slice of cake.

Age is just a number—there are of course the bags under my eyes and the wrinkles on my face that could hold a week’s rain which tend to be a bit of a give-away to the fact that the number is quite high. But, let’s not focus on minor details like my tits becoming much more acquainted with my belly. Age isn’t about looks; it’s about how you live.

If you’ve locked yourself into routines, refuse to leave the house after dark because ‘that’s just not what you do anymore,’ and your idea of adventure is switching to decaf after 6 PM, then yeah, you’ve let the old in —and it shows. But here’s the secret: you can hit the reverse button.

Remember when you used to grab life with both hands, a reckless grin, and zero concern about bedtime? Do that again—but this time, grab life by the balls. Go to new places, try weird food, dance badly at random events, or finally take that pottery class you’ve been thinking about. Overnight, you’ll shave years off your ‘perceived age.’ Trust me, nothing says youthful energy like laughing so hard you wee your knickers.

So stop acting your age. Act like the person who thought staying out until 2 AM was a great idea, even if now you’ll need a nap the next day. Life’s just too short to spend it watching box sets.

Grow old with sass, live every minute, don’t be afraid to try new things – but most of all love the ones your with, and don’t let the old in!